The Trauma Queue

This past week I read some Jonathan Haidt. He’s a researcher and writer. His latest book is titled The Anxious Generation, and it held few, if any, surprises for me. With the advent of the smartphone, and with younger kids finding themselves submerged in content that is not age appropriate, I’m not surprised at all to see the general mood of the world becoming less stable and less forgiving of others. The unreasonable push towards perfection has society caught with a noose around its neck.

I’m not against social media. That being said, I’m not for anything that causes our young adults and teens to not understand themselves. I’m for a compromise.

People shout about large pharmaceutical companies. I think we need to be even more concerned about social media companies that get people hooked on screens, who then find depression and anxiety kick in. I’ve surveyed clients informally, and I find that those who can turn off their social media feeds and decrease screen time are more capable of understanding who they are. They are more skilled at working towards constructive goals. These people are not trying to keep up with the Joneses—they are their own family.

As a therapist and spiritual director, I see more people with more uncertainty every day. They ask: “My life isn’t exciting, so what can I say or do that will make me interesting to others? I’ve got to keep people engaged.”

The “like” button is a curse to all.

I come from an era when keeping up with the Joneses meant getting the first or second pool on the block, or having the latest tech when that was a stereo system that had an amazing sound system with speakers that put out wonderful noise.

Now the things that tech allow are both wonderful and dangerous.

Anxiety has risen to unreasonable levels. Life direction for people in their twenties is questionable, and people don’t know how to be friends and form face-to-face personal relationships. Living under the same roof is really hard work. Doing things without tech is a skill that is being lost.

Michael Crichton, in Jurassic Park, asks us to consider the question of whether or not we should create even though we have the technology to do so. I’m thinking that, in the 2010s, this was a question that wasn’t fully asked by those with the skills to create this new thing on a screen. And yet, we’re finding answers that we weren’t prepared for.

A queue for the local or online therapist is much longer today than it was when I began this work thirty years ago. Back in the 1990s, therapists were marketing to get clients. Waiting lists are very real things now. The waiting lists are filled with people needing help with anxiety, depression, and claims of trauma. I don’t question the anxiety and depression, but sometimes what I hear as trauma is someone encountering a situation that they lack the skills to handle. I reframe this and do some teaching. Clients show clear relief and can move forward with a better outlook on life. Those with trauma want nothing more than to work through it and move forward. Trauma is soul shattering.

Do we ask ourselves if we’re doing the right thing? Do we follow the crowd? For some people, not understanding the process of decision-making is real. When you surrender yourself to the crowd, things can go wrong, and you might wind up in a queue that isn’t for your favorite ride at your favorite park.