Reworking Narratives
Our lives unfold in ways we’d hoped, and not hoped for. The paths we walk may be scripted or unscripted, and there are times when we find out about our paths only when we go exploring to figure out the why of it all.
And so, the story of our lives unravels with the truths and the lies we tell ourselves about who we are. We act and we react, or we choose to ignore it all and do nothing, hoping that it will all go away. When it doesn’t go away, I see the person in my online office. And the narrative of their life is laid out for both of us to see.
I once asked my husband to tell me what one gift he’d give me if he could. The problem with his well-meaning gift was that it would have erased a huge part of who I am. Knowing that I am a person with disabilities is something I accept. What I wish I didn’t have to accept is the junk society saddles me with as a disabled person. And so, this is how it is with my life narrative: I accept it. I wouldn’t swallow a pill or anything else that would change it.
The paths we walk shape who and what we are. Accepting both the good and bad choices, and their outcomes in our lives, is hard. Dealing with it in therapy is hard, and the result can be powerful and liberating.
Powerful outcomes result in posts like the ones in “Discharging Trauma” or “Soul Journeys.” It’s the lightbulb happenings in “Dancing in the Sunlight” that enable people to grasp that things are worth it.
Therapy is about reworking our narratives and coming to terms with them as they are and not how we wish they were. What we can’t change is linked to our past and present. What we can change is created by the choices we make for our future lives. It is like good soup.
I don’t offer a quick fix, and I don’t want it for myself. I want to build relationships with people. I’ve found that when we dig into our lives, it gets messy, and the process of digging out of our messiness is often not pleasant. What people need in therapy are tools, listening, and understanding, and to be called out on their stuff. Therapy is not for wimps.
While turning over the blockages in our lives is hard work, the results are worth it! I’ve learned that mental health planning is a good skill to have. If I can think ahead to how I can plan for some possibilities, I may be in a better place to manage the unwanted outcomes. I accept what I can’t control. I wholeheartedly embrace what I can control.
I want to take the path of openness, and I want to be able to turn over the rocks in front of me that stand as barriers, and not the old ones that got placed in my past. I’ve looked at the rocks of the past. Forward is a much better way of doing things.
As I write this, I realize that I want to chase the fly; I take delight in the adventures that I can have. Our life paths are narratives that we can watch and create in real time. Don’t just sit by the lake: chase the fly!
