When I was growing up and attending church as a child, there was a song we sang that had the line “kindness begins with me” in it. For much of my life, the act of simple kindness was not something I experienced. In the past few years, this has changed.
Since my fall in February that resulted in a broken femur, I’ve had the experience of kindness. It might also be possible that I’m more open to such acts now.
Maybe I’ve healed enough to allow kindness into my life. Maybe I’ve softened. Or maybe I have drawn people in that are kind. Whatever the reason for all of this is, I’m willing to accept it, and explore it.
As a disabled child and younger adult, I was faced with people who were less than understanding, and who didn’t understand my abilities and saw only what they felt I couldn’t do. Not having a fully abled body does not mean I am not fully capable. Being treated as such really hurts the soul.
I’m coming to believe that kindness is an attitude that we both learn and come to understanding within ourselves, and our own motivation for behaving in a kind manner.
There are some people who are naturally willing to give of themselves to others. The compassion switch gets turned on at a young age because they are raised to notice people in need. There are others who learn to offer help because they feel that is the proper thing to do. Another group of people I’ve come to know have a desire to give and serve others because they’ve developed gratitude and also thankfulness for what they’ve been given. The result is that they want others to enjoy the pleasures of life in simple ways.
I grew up in a household where we were taught to give to others because they had less. While that is all well and good, it builds an attitude of privilege that is not healthy.
Since my fall, I’ve encountered small acts of kindness that have caused me to grow into being kind because I want to see others receive from me what I can give to them. Sometimes I’m sneaky about it, and at other times I’m learning to offer and allow the offer to be accepted or rejected.
I think about things that have happened to me.
A recruiter could have but didn’t blow me off when I needed extra assistance to get onboard with a new contractor. A home health care worker made sure I had what I needed when I needed it so that I could work from my home. A nurse took the extra time to come in and show kindness when she could have been in someone else’s room. A guy paid for a meal before I could get my card out to pay for it. People didn’t complain when I was walking in unfamiliar areas and had to go slower. They chose to walk behind instead of pass me.
Kindness is a simple act: a smile, a friendly hello, the offer of a glass of water or other drink. Kindness is radical hospitality at its best.
Kindness comes from the heart, and it begins in homes. It begins around the table where we laugh, cry, share, and come to understandings that we haven’t experienced before.
Kindness is an art and a way of being. It begins with one person deciding that today they will go out and make their community a better place by doing something simple for others.
Kindness enables us to build stronger homes, communities, and lives, and it is not always easy but well worth the effort. It begins in our hearts.